I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
