And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
