Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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