To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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