At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
