I wish I could punch you in the face.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
