If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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