I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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