i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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