id be glad to
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
last night I used snow as a chaser
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
