there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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