when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
