they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
In America we eat man semen.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
