I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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