Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
