this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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