my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
