dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
not ubering you a puppy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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