Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need to calm my uterus...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
