I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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