im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
