nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
