We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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