I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
