2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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