I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't deserve a penis
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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