Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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