my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
