Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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