I was born with a shot glass in my hand
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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