No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There r osticjed everywhere
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
