the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
