yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
