yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
