I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
