Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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