I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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