Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
