I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
