i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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