dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
