Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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