3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
