i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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