would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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