got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ladies don't puke and tell
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
