I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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