so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
