So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
