There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
one might say we're banned from that church
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
