What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
