how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
