Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
