Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
