True but thats because hes a fetus.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
