I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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