thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize