If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
