So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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