hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
