I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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